On Paper

One of the oddest things about me is that in real life I'm a very snarky, witty person however when I write, that part of me never comes through.  It gets bland and wrapped up in extrapolation and I don't know why.

It's the one thing I'm trying desperately to work past since I started writing again.  I want to show myself in my writing. 

I think it's because when I write, I don't get intimate enough.  I chicken out instead of saying exactly what I feel.  I don't know why that is or how it came to be.

But I sure as hell know that I need to stop holding back.  Maybe I should drink something before I write next time.

I know I can be a better writer if I'd just let go.  Write what I know and to hell with everything else.

I'm really sick of people who don't write bugging me to see what I've written when I tell them that it's just stuff I'm experimenting with.  Actual writers don't ask, they know that if another writer wanted to show something, she'd offer it. 

I want to be better.  I keep writing and writing until I think I might have to beware carpal tunnel.  But I know I want to be a better writer more badly than anything else going on in my life.  I miss having long stretches of time to just concentrate on writing.  No crap with people interrupting me or having to try to be someone I'm not. 

I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!