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Most beginning writers - and I was the same - are like chefs trying to cook great dishes that they've never tasted themselves. How can you make a great - or even an adequate - bouillabaisse if you've never had any? If you don't really understand why people read mysteries - or romances or literary novels or thrillers or whatever - then there's no way in the world you're going to write one that anyone wants to publish. This is the meaning of the well-known expression "Write what you know." -- Daniel Quinn
Well, in my imagination, my writing is getting better. I'm trying to be gutsier, if that's even a real word. Today I'm taking a break but I've been kicking my own ass to write things I like reading but didn't have the guts to write myself. It's baby steps, what can I say? Don't ask why I would not write swearing, love scenes or use snarkier dialog when writing. I don't get it either, but I'm working on it. I think sarcastically but write like a prude. I'd see a therapist about it, but I write, it's cheaper and I don't like social interaction much anyway.
Hopefully I'll get inspired or somehow find a medium for my madness.
The one good thing about being back from my break? I realize how little I tried to push myself creatively. I was often going for endurance (the longest story I've written is probably somewhere along 200 pages), not style. I mean, I recognized changes in my writing style as the years have gone by, but I really didn't challenge myself to make it more readable. I was never trying to make it catchy. I assumed that since I had such a whirlwind of enthusiasm writing it that it would inherit that readability. It didn't.
So here I am, writing and posting like a maniac on ff.net, praying for feedback.