After Life -- Chapter 7: I Can't Stay Away

[parallax23]

Chapter 7:  I Can’t Stay Away

Numb.  The whole world had gone numb when Max walked out of the clinic.

She couldn’t go back to the apartment.  He could be there and she couldn’t face him.  If he wasn’t there, it would only remind her that she had lost him forever.

After everything that they had gone through, all the heartbreak and the suffering, there was still so much more left to go?  Love sucked.  Big time.

How were they supposed to work through this?  How could she ask him to forgive her because of her freaky DNA again?

Home.  She needed to get home, back to Terminal City, to other people with freaky DNA who would understand.  Zack would never turn her away.  Her family wouldn’t leave her on her own.

There was also someone else in Terminal City that she had to face. 

Alec. 

They had never really been like that.  Even he had agreed that the whole evening had been an error in judgment from the way he behaved afterwards.

Did he have to be such a bastard and show up that night?  Did he have to give in?  She was going to make him pay for that when she saw him.  He was going to pay for screwing up her life again.  The idea of taking out her anger on him was the only thing that prevented her from crying.  It was the only thing that gave her the strength to go back to Terminal City to face anyone.

______________________________________________________________________________
 

“Well, look who’s back from the dead,” Mole said when Max walked into the Command Center of Terminal City.  He bit down on a new cigar.

“Mole, what can I say?  Once isn’t enough,” Max told him.  “Where are the idiots I supposedly left to run this dump?”

Zack and Alec had both been her SICs and she didn’t trust either of them to run Terminal City on his own in her absence.  Zack would probably turn the place into a boot camp.  Alec would in all likelihood start a transgenic cage-fighting business and casino.  So to keep them in check, she had left both of them in charge.  It hadn’t gone over well.  Zack was a natural leader and Alec was a natural dissenter.  But together, they balanced each other out.  They balanced her out.

When Zack gave orders, people tended to listen.  Alec was the one who surprised her when it came to getting people do what he wanted through charm and manipulation.  Many of the transgenics in Terminal City found him appealing and had seen him fight alongside them.  Zack was a rigid newcomer and 09er.  Between the two of them, they had managed to create a strong administration in Max’s absence.  Separately, they probably would have failed at it. 

She also cared about both of them deeply.

Then she remembered that Alec was half the reason she’d come back.  She didn’t want to see him though.  After spending the last few days hoping to wake up and discover it was all a very bad dream, that it was Logan’s baby.  In some part of her mind, they were still getting married and preparing for one of those blissfully bland normal lives.  This was some temporary visit to check on Alec and Zack who were now running the Terminal City show.  Of course that wasn’t how things were. 

“You looking for the Corporal and Princess?  Good question.  Maybe they’ve finally decided to square off and kill each other.  Nah, Alec woulda sold tickets for that. So I’m thinking they’ve turned in for the night,” Mole told her.

“Little Fella!” Joshua exclaimed before she could reply and picked her up in a hug.

“Hey Big Fella,” Max greeted him with a genuine smile.

She wasn’t sure why, but simply seeing him was enough to make her feel a little better about the situation.  It made her remember that she wasn’t alone.  Luke and Dix were with him as well and she embraced them both.

“Where’s Logan?” asked Joshua, looking around.

Mole looked at her curiously.  “Oh, that’s why I’m not itching to shoot something.”

Logan and Mole had never been on good terms.  It hadn’t improved when Max decided to go off to D.C. with him.  Mole was distrustful of all ordinaries in general, according to him they were just great for live target practice and the only thing that kept him from taking aim at Logan was his respect for Max.  He would probably be glad to know Logan wouldn’t be coming around any time soon, but saddened to know that he hadn’t gotten to shoot at him.

“Uh… Logan had some stuff to take care of,” Max said simply.  “I’m beat.  We just got back today.  I’m going to head over to my place to crash.”

“And of course you thought we’d burn down the place in your absence?” Mole asked.

A wave of relief hit when she realized that they had accepted her lame excuse.

“Burn it down?  I didn’t take you guys as lacking originality in your destructive behavior,” Max said with a coy look.  “I leave this place and it all goes to hell.”

“This place was a crapshoot.  Hell would be an upgrade,” Luke chortled.

Max managed to laugh at that.  Somehow being with them made her problems feel like a million miles away.  If only it wasn’t two blocks away and across the hall from her place.

“Well, we’ll have to see about that,” Max replied and walked out.

A wicked smile crossed Mole’s face.  “Okay, pay up boys.  Told ya the ordinary wouldn’t keep her satisfied.  Don’t call ’em ordinary for nothing.”

______________________________________________________________________________

She was supposed to go straight to her apartment.  That was the original plan.  She had realized that she didn’t feel like talking to anyone for a long time.  Not talking meant not having to tell them what happened.  And what happened had left her a shell of her former self, which she didn’t want them to see.  The one person she really wanted was gone from her life forever. 

Then how did she end up standing in front of Alec’s door instead of hers?  She had stormed into his apartment unannounced plenty of times, knocking wasn’t part of Manticore etiquette classes.

Then why didn’t she just do it?

The urge to open the door and beat him senseless conflicted with the one to cry in his arms.

She looked at her watch.  He probably wasn’t even asleep yet. 

What was she afraid of?  She was not afraid of Alec McDowell.  She had gone there to kick his ass for screwing up her life.  Again.  Why had she thought that things had changed?  He’d taken advantage of a very bad situation and he’d been lucky she didn’t off him then and there.

Well, she supposed that was a good thing for the kid.  She was going to make sure Alec took full responsibility for the mess he had gotten them into.  They had never known their parents, at least her baby would get the chance to.  Even if Alec was a walking magnet for trouble.  The thought still seemed surreal to her.  That she would be someone’s mother, have to watch out for it and protect it.

A low moan interrupted her thoughts.  Then her ears picked up on the shout of Alec’s name through the door. 

Rage flooded her.  Of course.  Alec never missed the chance to whore himself out.  He was just as irresponsible and self-involved as ever.  She could take a guess at which member of his fan club had gotten an exclusive with him tonight.

“Max?”

Max almost jumped out of her skin, then spun around to attack the person behind her.  But the other person quickly moved out of the way.

“Jondy?”

Max’s older sister grinned at her.

“The one and only,” she said and wrapped Max up in a hug.  “What are you doing back so early?”

For a moment, Max thought about telling her.  “Just making sure the place was in one piece.”

Jondy stared at her.  “And that one piece happened to be Alec’s door?”

Damn it.  Jondy was always the one who could read her better than anyone else. 

“I’m starting to feel hurt than it wasn’t my door you looked ready to kick down. Tell me one thing, is it because he’s prettier than me?”

Max let out a sigh.  Jondy’s playfulness faded when she noticed Max’s pained expression.

“I need some coffee,” was all the dark-haired transgenic said and walked over to the door to her apartment.  “And for the record, he is not prettier than you.”

Something was more than just wrong.  “Maxie, what’s going on?”

______________________________________________________________________________

“So, basically I managed to get myself knocked up by one of Terminal City’s biggest sluts,” Max had said in a disgusted tone.  “You know, that’s what I get for betting that he’d knock up someone before the Siege was over.  Just didn’t think it’d be me.  Gotta love the irony.”

“Oh Maxie,” Jondy said solemnly and put a hand on her shoulder.

“I meet the one guy I want to spend the rest of my life with, and what happens?  He gets shot and loses the use of his legs.  Then when he can walk again, I get shot and then Zack shoots himself to save my ass.  And don’t get me started on the virus.  Now this.  Do you mind taking a shot at Alec?  It only seems fair.”

“As tempting as that sounds, I think you’ll need someone to kick around when all those pregnancy hormones hit.  And I don’t think it’ll be as satisfying to beat the crap out of anyone but the one who put you in that position.”

Out of all the scenarios of she had come up with to punish Alec for taking advantage of her, that one hadn’t crossed her mind.  She wanted him to pay.  He got to be with whoever he wanted while she was stuck with their kid.  She would do all of the work and he’d still get to have the life he wanted.  She lost Logan and there was no one who could replace him.  It wasn’t fair.

“Doesn’t matter to me,” Max told her coldly, then took a sip of coffee.  “He’s not going to know it’s his.”

“What?”

That would be the worst punishment of all.  For Alec not to know the truth.  Even if he didn’t know, she would know that he would be hurting just as much as she was at the moment.

“You heard me.  You’re the only person here who knows.  And I plan on keeping it that way.”

“Uh, think that’d be kinda hard not to notice.  I know Alec’s not the brightest guy, but I think the weight gain would tip him off.”

“Real funny, Jondy.  But I’m not letting him know it’s his.  He’s not going to help anyway, so why give him a reason to come by and harass me?  We’ll all be better off this way.”  The determination in her voice was supplemented by her straightening as she sat up.

Jondy sighed.  “Max, you’re just angry right now.  You have to tell him.”

“Not if I can help it.  Besides, he was going to hand off any kid we made to Manticore when we met.  I don’t owe him anything.  This kid is all mine as far as I’m concerned.”

Jondy knew that there was no talking to Max when she was like this.  But it was Max’s life and if that was what she wanted, then so be it.  She wondered if the others would buy into transgenics being capable of parthenogenesis.  Now that would be something to scare the public with.

“So when’s this kid’s debut?”

“January,” Max said quietly, placing a hand on her abdomen.  “I’m going to need your help, Jondy.  I can’t do this alone.”

Her older sister stared at her.  “You’re kidding right?”

When she saw Max’s face fall, she laughed.  “Of course I will.  That’s my little niece or nephew in there!  And Zack’ll be here.  And Syl and Gem’ll give parenting advice.  You won’t have to worry.  What’s family for if not to have them bail your sorry ass out of difficult situations?”

A tear slid down Max’s face as she leaned forward and hugged her sister tightly.  She didn’t like anyone seeing her weak like this, but it was Jondy.

______________________________________________________________________________

The next morning, Jondy went ahead of her to start her shift at Command.  Max had been more tired than she thought and decided to sleep in late.  Waking up wasn’t one of her favorite things.  This wasn’t how her life was supposed to go. 

She actually had no intention of leaving her bedroom.  How had she let this happen?  How had she let Logan slip through her hands again?  What was he going to do?  What was he doing?  She had hurt him so badly, she robbed both of them of their future.  She couldn’t ask him to raise someone else’s child, to see her infidelity day in and day out.

Renfro had been right about her bringing only suffering to those she loved.  After having screwed up so much already, this kid was going to need a miracle to lead a decent life.  That was why Max didn’t want Alec in the picture.  He was also in the business of royally screwing up as well.  It was enough to make her wonder if the feline DNA came from a black cat.

There she was staring up at the dirty ceiling, counting the ways her life sucked when she heard the door to her apartment open.  So much for staying in bed.

“Jondy, I told you – ” she started to say when she walked into the living room, but stopped when she saw it wasn’t Jondy who came by.

Alec smirked.  “Mistaking me for Jondy?  Really Max, I thought I was prettier.”

She scowled at him.  “What do you want?”

He plopped himself down on the couch.  “I heard you came back.  So where’s my souvenir?  You honestly don’t think I do my job for the great salary and dental plan?”

“No, I figured it was so that you would have an office to line up cheap tramps at to make it feel more high end,” Max shot back.  It was taking every ounce of restraint not to beat him across the room.  To tell him that he’d ruined her life again.  “Get out.  I’m tired.”

Of course he didn’t budge from his position.  “Look, I came by because I’ve been hearing things and wanted to check on you.  You know, see if I have to stop hosting strip poker in your office.”

“You did what?”

Damn it.  Mole and the others hadn’t really bought her lame story.  They were trained better than that.  Now the whole of TC knew about her and Logan.  Well, that would mean she’d have to work twice as hard at keeping them from finding out why.

“It was just that one time, I swear.  But if what I heard is true, I’ll set up another round for ya.”

“How about you get off my couch, do your job and find someone else’s life to ruin?”

Her words stung him.  He hadn’t expected her to be so caustic with him; they hadn’t been that way in a long time.  Then again, they’d been on the outs since that incident a few months back.  What had he expected when he decided to find out why she was suddenly back home, Logan-free?

“Let’s get something straight.  I don’t ruin your life.  You make bad decisions or ones you don’t fully think through, then I just happen to be in the same zip code, ready and willing to accept the blame.”

“I’ll remember that next time you’re in mortal danger.”

“Maybe you should.”

“Just stay out of my way.”