Angry Feminist Ramblings of an Insomniac

[parallax23]

I'm supposed to be asleep.  But I just finished reading a story online and something is bothering me, so this is my rant.

(Bear in mind that I am sleep deprived here and I may or may not take this down in the morning.)


I am SICK of reading a story where after the leading guy and leading girl split up, the guy can go on a rampage of sleeping with a different woman every night while the girl is stuck home every night wallowing (while she may or may not be pregnant).  Then when the guy and girl get back together (after girl catches guy with evil skank whore he's been using, and of course still forgives him), the guy makes some declaration about how he would have killed any other man who would have slept with his girl, and how glad he is that she didn't.  Meanwhile, he was screwing half of California or wherever while she just sat around eating ice cream waiting for him to come to his senses.

I hate how the story emphasizes how it's okay for a guy to sleep with whoever he wants after a break up, but the girl has to maintain some nun-like celibacy.  And I don't want to hear the b.s. that guys don't know how to deal with emotions and just screw anything that moves -- what's good for the goose is good for the gander. 

I've lost count of how many times I've read a story where the woman had to be a virgin before she got married, even though her future husband had at least ten other women before marrying her.  Somehow, guys get off on being the first and only man "his true love" has been with.  What about all those other women he was sleeping with?  Aren't they ever going to be someone's "true love"?  No, because society doesn't like whores.  They're not people and they're not worthy of love or they wouldn't have spread their legs.

I especially hate it because this was the same b.s. that my mother fed me.  I was told not to sleep with anyone before marriage because it would disturb my husband, but it's fine for him to screw around before we get married because it's his precious pride.  I called crap on that theory the minute she told me it.  And if you do find out that he was sleeping with someone interim for a break up and makes a comment about you being celibate, I say you guilt his ass for eternity for that bullshit.

This is probably I never do that in my stories (if I even bother to use couples).  My heroines get to jump in the sack with the nearest hot guy too.  I refuse to let some stupid girl take an oath of celibacy and sit there crying over a tub of Ben & Jerry's.  In my original stories, I don't emphasize who has sex first or with whom unless it's actually important.  Eighty percent of the time, it's not. 

When is society going to get over that stupid little piece of flesh?  The double-standard is ridiculous.  Think outside the box people!  The only reason they wanted "virgins" back in the day was to assure paternity (of course, we all know how much more accurate that is that maternity).  Now a trip to a clinic can clear that problem right up.  Or if you're poor and in dire need of attention, there's always Maury.

This is like when I'm bored and actually listen at weddings and the pandit goes on about "maidenly virtue" and leaves out the guy's cavorting.  At that point, I just want to find a cute guy in the room and screw his brains out.  Of course, most guys don't actually sit inside for the wedding ceremony (that's too girly for them, they hang out in the front and either smoke and/or drink, or they only go to the reception where there is alcohol throughout the night and girls with smaller dresses, not shalwars and saris which FYI you can't hike up) and to top it off most males in attendance either related to me or I would rather go lesbian than tap that!  Maybe the next wedding I go to won't be so bad... (And pigs will sprout wings and fly in front of one eligible guy...)

Of course, at the rate I'm going, slutty spinster doesn't seem so bad either.

Anyway, the point is all you heroines out there, don't be afraid to whore it up before going back to Prince Charming.  And make sure you do it before the bump starts to show!

Comments

[maplelump.livejournal.com]

Amen sister!!

I like reading stories that are predictable, the guy will get the girl, etc and so forth, but when I read stories like what you described, my brain automatically goes: "Yeah, because Twilight didn't already send feminism back 50 years, let's go further. *eyeroll*"

Do they honestly think that all women are push overs like these characters? We need the women that will say "fuck you" and move on to the guy that honestly cares about her. I want to identify with that character, not the Mary-Sue stuffing her face with carbs to make herself feel better.

P.S. I have nothing against wallowing, it's a stage necessary in any breakup, but it's not the ONLY stage.

P.P.S. Ice cream carbs are my Achilles heel, so I shouldn't pass judgment. *shifty eyes*

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

I have nothing against wallowing except when it's making the girl into a doormat while the guy can do whatever and whoever he wants guilt-free.

It's really sad the number of stories I've read where they have this girl being the one to tame the wild manwhore playboy. She takes all of his slutty ways and makes him into a one woman guy, then we're supposed to magically believe he won't cheat on her even though it didn't bother him to sleep with a dozen girls while they were broken up? The sad part is that a childhood friend of mine's father did that when he and his wife were briefly separated - he got AIDS and died shortly after, but at the time my parents just told me he was sick.

You didn't take an oath of celibacy and become a nun of Ben & Jerry? Because otherwise ice cream is good for the soul.

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

I figured I should leave a comment since I too am suffering insomnia and recently got my feminist hackles raised. (Yay for always being able to count on men to be douche-nozzles.)

I agree completely with your assessment of "romantic" fiction. Of course the other end of the spectrum, the guy who lives and breathes with every gesture you condescend to lovingly bestow on him, freaks me out way more then a man-whore.

My mom was also of the "you should be a virgin when you get married" mindset, since she was one, but so was my father. Now that I'm all grown up she feels that it's my life and really none of her business anymore. Just take precautions and please don't get pregnant or a disease. So I'm cool with it, those are her beliefs and she had enough respect for herself that she wanted a husband who would abide by the same rule. She was also big on the strong female role model thing.

In fact my favorite series of books growing up centered around a female knight (who of course had to pretend to be a boy in order to enter training) who had three lovers over the span of four books (in the first one she was really too young), didn't give a damn what people said about her reputation, and still managed to defeat evil sorcerer guy and save the day. Even marrying the guy who'd known all about her secret identity, the other guys she'd been with (and not only didn't fault her for being with them, but wasn't a neanderthal about marking his territory or some shit like that), and loved her all the more for her independence and strength of character.

In retrospect it might have set my expectations for men a little high....

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

Well, the whole virgin thing was just to put out there the double standard that exists. Repeatedly it's okay for him, but not for you. And the way it comes off in my culture is that your celibacy revolves around the guy's ego, less about respect for yourself (respecting yourself is making sacrifices for your husband *rolls eyes*). If they emphasized him being equally celibate, that would be a different kettle of tea.

Ugh, those fake sweet guys are god awful. A lot of fanfic writers do that to Alec and I want to barf. At least manwhore is more believable and shows some independent thinking. (Yeah I choked out laughing at that statement too.)

My favorite stories as a kid were those fairy tales where the girl, not the guy, saves the day. I also enjoyed female characters who could put up a good sword fight.

What's the title of the book series you're referring to? It sounds familiar. You should really check out The Abhorsen Trilogy by Garth Nix though, it's about two girls who take over their father's role as necromancer of their kingdom.

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

Luckily my mother never believed in that particular double standared. I have four older brothers so it could have been a male dominated, woman subjugated environment, but she raised all of us to believe in strong women. Although I gotta say my grandmother still has a "sacrifice your own happiness for the man you love" mentality, but for the most part I ignore her when she goes off on those tangents. Do you mind if I ask what culture you come from? I'm your average mix of British, Germanic, and Croatian white folks.

*shudder* I can't stand those guys. One of my favorite M/A stories had Alec attempting to woo Max, but he was using all these really cliched moves and she thought he'd had a head injury or something, it was hilarious. And of course in the end all he really needed to do was be Alec.

Agreed, I never had any patience for the swooning heroine.

It's called "The Song of the Lioness" quartet, by Tamora Pierce. She's written several series about female protagonists, many in the save 'verse as the Alanna books. Although my favorite series of her's revolves around Alanna's daughter *is a ginormous dork* I've never heard of that Trilogy, it sounds interesting. I'm curious about the sisters angle, I love family stories so I'll definitely check it out.

If you still like magic/adventure (I know I do :-) I highly recommend "The Black Jewels Trilogy" by Anne Bishop. It's...complicated, and brilliant. I stole the blurb about the first book "Daughter of the Blood" off of Wikipedia:

Seven hundred years ago, a Black Widow witch saw an ancient prophecy come to life in her web of dreams and visions. Now the Dark Realm readies itself for the arrival of its Queen, a Witch who will wield more power than even the High Lord of Hell himself. But she is still young, still open to influence-and corruption.

Whoever controls the Queen controls the darkness. Three men-sworn enemies-know this. And they know the power that hides behind the blue eyes of an innocent young girl. And so begins a ruthless game of politics and intrigue, magic and betrayal, where the weapons are hate and love-and the prize could be terrible beyond imagining...

Jaenelle, is destined to rule the Blood, if she can reach adulthood. Saetan, High Lord of Hell and most powerful of the Blood males, becomes Jaenelle's surrogate father and teacher. He cannot protect her outside Hell, where he rules. She refuses to leave Terreille, risking herself to protect or heal other victims of violence. Can Daemon, Saetan's estranged son, keep her safe from the machinations of the evil High Priestess?

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

Oh I must add those to my reading list!

My mom emphasizes being my own woman, but at the same time she seems to still fall back on traditional thinking. She's very hard to peg, but lets me get away with things because I'm half Scorpio.

I'd say first and foremost I'm a New Yorker born and bred. I'm of Hindu Indian descent, but my family hasn't set foot in India or anywhere near Asia for at least five generations. LOL

I keep saying I'm going to go on a Tamora Pierce reading spree, but every time something comes up.

Swooning heroines should throw themselves off the cliff and spare us. These days the heroes suck too. They just magically can fix everything and know everything, no questions asked. It's all revolting. A few years ago, people loved ambiguity and skewed points of view. Now it's the idiot the protagonist made fun of that gets to be the hero. I'm not liking it one bit. I hate that now that mainstream sci-fi/fantasy has been neutered these days. My parents are baffled that Americans idolize buffoons and pick on the smart people, because to Asians the more brains you're the better person.

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

They're my go-to books when I need something comforting, better then a blankie (which considering some of what happens in the books might say something odd about me...)

Parents are hard to figure, I've sprained my brain on more then one occasion trying to figure mine out :-)

LOL I feel the same way about being a Virginian, visited other places but they all seem to pale in comparison. So that's how I primarily identify myself too. I don't know much about that part of Asia, although I did some broad religious studies which involved Hinduism, but other then that I'm a bit clueless. I'm a Sagittarius...no idea what that means astrologically, but it probably has something to do with being a stubborn bitch *nods head*

I'm just happy you've actually heard of her lol, most of the time I get blank stares and "you still read kiddie books?"

Totally, I get so frustrated with "modern" heroes and heroines. When it comes to books released recently I usually stick to murder mysteries, they seem to have withstood the insidious infiltration of pop culture. But there are still a few authors in the sci-fi/fantasy genre who maintain quality writing. The glorification of mediocrity is another thing I just can't understand. It's one thing that bothers me about some of the Supernatural writers and how they handle the boys, especially Dean. Of course there's a whole other set of problems for how they handle Sam but that would only infuriate me. With Dean some of them seem determined to dumb him down and make him an immature buffoon. I'll give them that Jensen plays it well and makes it work, but it still pisses me off.

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

We are definitely kindred spirits in our book tastes. I'm ashamed but I don't care for most adult novels (seriously, they love to throw pointless details in there and try too desperate to seem mature and smart, when they're obviously not).

No big about being familiar with South Asia, I've always been an oddity and I didn't know much about the place and culture (I'm very Americanized) until I got to college. Hinduism is not really one thing or the other, and it's not easy to explain (especially from dodger like me). But we put a lot of stock in astrology. Scorpios are considered volatile and passionate, they just do whatever damn well pleases them. I'm half Libra too because my birthday fell on a date that is used for both, supposedly that makes me level-headed.

It's odd but I can actually tell who wrote an episode based on what the characters do in SPN or DA (it's really weird but there was mainly one writer slipping the M/A stuff in there LOL). I am disappointed in what's been going on with Dean, and yeah, he's suffering from the Homer Simpson syndrome (every year, Homer reaches a lower level of stupid buffoonery). Sam is just pathetic thanks to the writers. Jared and Jensen have the talent, but I don't know how much this can drag on.

I think good writers avoid making many pop culture references, because it really dates your work. Sci-fi/fantasy is of a higher caliber, it's written for a smarter and more imaginative audience, and it's sad that it's hard to find a decent writer.

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

Agreed. Many books for adults try too hard. It's like the writers think that if they throw in enough sex and convoluted plot lines that'll somehow make the books better. Happily there are still some out there that don't do that, but they seem to be in the minority.

LOL Most of what I know about my roots are from books actually. My mother collects children's fiction, specifically children's fiction from the British Isles, so I learned about that part of my heritage by reading a lot. So you're a passionate person who has the ability to think through your actions...sounds like a good mix actually. I don't know much about astrology, I'm a bit iffy on anything that involves predetermination. I dislike the idea that I'm not in control of my life. However I do think that certain people have particular paths that they might be best suited for and would be happiest following those callings, but it still needs to be their choice...if that makes any sense.

I usually can too, all writers leave their fingerprints on the scripts. (LOL I remember those episodes, but it's been too long since I watched them to recall which writer you mean.) Tonight's episode actually made me very happy. I won't go into further detail in case you haven't seen it yet, but I'm falling in love with SamnDean again. I was never exactly out of love with them but...I was worried. I never really saw Sam as being pathetic, just horribly misused. They made it hard for many viewers to still love him even when he was doing "bad" things. But the last few episodes have been doing better I think. Especially him telling Dean that he needs to be allowed to grow up and not always be the little brother. Although I might not be the best person to ask about Sam's storyline because even at the end of last season, I still thought he had a good reason (in his mind at the very least) for doing what he did.

Again agreed :-) Unless of course the references are there for good reason like in Psych. I always felt that the goal of sci-fi/fantasy was to go beyond what is known and do something new. So a pop culture reference would be detrimental to your story. I've been lucky finding books to read, most of the murder mysteries I get from my mom so she's weeded out the crap ones; and the sci-fi/fantasy my brothers tend to throw at me (literally, they chuck them at my head and order me to read...although on the plus side I now have very good reflexes). I still find a bunch of dogs when I go by library sales and such, but the few gems make the struggle worth it.

I recently tried to read the Twilight books...I had to stop every few pages to rant at whomever was around when reading the first one, I didn't even get halfway through the second.

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

Twilight is like a 6th grade writing assignment gone wrong. Terribly wrong.

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

I honestly wanted to understand the horrible phenomenon that is Twilight, but when you look into the abyss of a tween's mind...it also looks back into you *shudder*

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

I have no clue. I mean I was that age once and I was a book snob back then too because all of us volunteered at the library... Of course, back then it was when Harry Potter first hit the scene. Animorphs and Fear Street were huge too. Again, something isn't adding up.

I blame it on our poor education system and the attempts of schools to purge themselves of containing actual books.

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

O_O Okay I'm starting to worry we're the same person and I'm incredibly schizophrenic...and also far more computer savvy then I thought I was.

I was always volunteering in libraries too as a kid, my mom would take me and my brothers with her all the time. I was the same with my reading (although Animorphs was more my brothers then me). I loved Harry Potter, and I was also getting into The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings around then (still am really *uber!geek*)

I don't know if the educational system can be totally to blame. I think a lot of it must rest with the parents, if you don't give your kids something better then the bland fluff that counts as "appropriate reading" now, then it's no surprise when they gravitate towards something like Twilight.

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

I was just being sarcastic about the educational system. It's just that there has been talk of replacing classics with Twilight to encourage students to read. I wanted to shank someone when I heard that. Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter are great and no one gave a damn about using that as course material.

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

That is probably the scariest thing I've heard in a while. When I went back to my old high school to see some of the teachers still there, my former English teacher (a smart, well-read woman, whom I respect a great deal) had Twilight posters on her walls and told me she enjoyed the books. I had to check and be sure she wasn't a pod-person.

I actually did get The Lord of the Rings as course material when I was in high school, although it was in a Sci-fi and Fantasy Literature class, so it would have been criminal not to have those books.

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

I didn't have any fun English classes. I was always in AP. Then I went to vocational school, so all elective courses were for our majors. We were a business school, but I was a Marketing major so my homework was to watch TV and listen to the radio! LOL

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

I had health problems in high school so mostly I did Honors English instead of AP. But when that class came up I had to take it :-)

*laughs* That sounds like a pretty good way to go through school (I'm still in college). Do you have a job in marketing? I ask because I've noticed you write a lot on here, really interesting stuff from what I've gotten a chance to look at, so I had thought that maybe you were a professional writer.

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

LOL I'm actually between jobs right now so that's why I post so much. :P I graduated from college over a year ago, but have had a string of bad luck (too many places are cutting down their depts). I have a B.A. in English, but haven't found a job that utilizes those skills.

High schools like that are win some, lose some situations. I chose Marketing because that's what most of the Publishing industry involves. Marketing people always have jobs in publishing because of the nature of the business. A lot of people don't know that and they think I'm capricious, but if you've ever dealt with a publishing company, that fact is undeniable.

You think my writing is interesting? That's so nice of you to say! I usually don't think it's very good. LOL

P.S. If you saw SPN tonight, I am now gloating. (SPOILERS AHEAD) A couple of weeks ago I did a thread about how vessels were chosen and I said my theory was that the vessels reflect who the characters are. Someone started posting how I was nitpicking and what not, and tonight Gabriel's reveal proved that I was right! Of course, no one remembers except me.

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

Yeah I can see how that would suck, I'm lucky, I get to live at home and mooch off my parents while going to school. Do you have a dream job? Something you know you want to do if you ever get the chance?

Sadly I'm not exactly well versed in the ways of publishing companies, but I'll take your word for it and tuck that nugget away for future happenings :-) To be honest the world of Marketing kinda goes over my head, I know it's needed and useful, but I couldn't give an accurate job description of it to save my life LOL

Well I haven't gotten a chance to do more then glance at it, but your ideas are good and you present stories (even if there are familiar themes) in ways that make them seem new and compelling. So I call that a win LOL

P.S. You did?! That's fantastic! I'd kinda wondered about that myself, but I wasn't entirely happy with the notion because I dislike destiny so much as a general rule. But the way they presented it tonight was really good! I love the idea that even if the boys have always been fated to be these two vessels, they can still choose what their path will be, whether they're gonna go along with fate or fight it. I'd love to read the thread, do you remember what it was called? (Also I'm really happy that the Trickster was more then just a Trickster because it never sat quite right with me that he could screw with the boys so easily...but I could just be biased towards the boys.) How did you like tonight's episode?

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

I was pleasantly satisfied by the reveals for this episode (and not just because I was right!). Though the Grey's Anatomy stuff was painful to sit through (I find it funny that the show was playing the exact same time as SPN). LOL

As for my dream job, realistically I think I'd like to become an editor at a fiction publisher or an English professor. I'm seeing about actually pursuing the latter (everyone in my life is also cheering me on to do it because they think I'd do great at it, but I have to get into grad school first :P). Ideally, above all else I'd want to be a TV writer. But I'm on the wrong side of the country. NYC is publishing, LA is TV land. Either way I'd like to finish a novel someday too.

What do you want to do after college? (I live at home still too! It's not common for people in my culture to officially leave home until they're married, but going away for school or to live with other relatives doesn't count.)

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

I love any and all shots taken at Grey's Anatomy, I tried watching it once because some folks I know said I needed to give it a try and I just *shudder* will never get that part of my life back. But from what I recall they did a pretty good parody, and the CSI:Miami made my night!

Wow, good goals! One nice thing about teaching (from what I hear) is that it gives you some free time to work on other projects. So you can have a steady paycheck while you write your masterpiece :-) I think you'd be a good TV writer, or at least you'd probably improve the quality of most TV shows. That might be your biggest hurdle, finding a show that would be willing to take the risk of not being a copy of every other show on television.

(Yay for living at home! For me right now it's a financial thing, and earlier it was a "I broke myself so badly I couldn't live on my own" thing. Long story.) After college will probably be more schooling. There are two jobs that I'm looking seriously at, profiling (probably with the FBI) or becoming a coroner or medical examiner. Either way I'll be dealing with school loans for a long time :p. I'd love to be able to write a book, but I'm not sure I have the ability to write one that would be worth the pain, sweat and tears lol. Ultimately my main goal (since I was a little kid) is to make enough money to buy a bar, and open up a little neighborhood pub. It could either be a side business or something I do after official retirement. I just know that it's what I've always wanted.

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

I liked Season 1 of Grey's Anatomy when it started, but that's as far as it goes.

Thanks for believing in me! I actually spent years writing, then when I got to college I stopped. Now I'm getting back into it, but it's not on the level I was in my teens. I'm a bit more focused though.

I like your career aspirations! My brother keeps teasing me to work for the NSA as an investigator (the requirement is a BA in English! lol). One of my friends works at the M.E. and she likes it.

You wanted a bar? That is so funny, I just did a story sketch of a girl who leaves behind her old life behind and gets a bar named after an Alice in Wonderland character (I went with "The Mock Turtle" because there are lots of bars named after the Cheshire Cat and Mad Hatter). Well, the story mostly focuses around Jake, a guy who comes home from college to find out that his favorite hang out has a new owner and that life went on without him.

Well, if you do open one up, do let me know so if I do end up down there I'll see it for myself. Maybe I'll get the nerve up to do a spec script and go to L.A. to try my luck like I've dreamed of since I was ten.

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

*facepalm* One day, I'll be able to reply in a timely fashion...I so fail. Sorry.

I can understand how college would cause issues with being able to write as much. But it's great that you're getting back into the practice. Have you ever been to "Write or Die"? I recently started using it, and it really encourages you to just write, it doesn't have to be Shakespeare, just getting something down.

I saw that you stopped NaNoWriMo, and I completely agree with your reasons. I tried entering a "Write a fanfic a day for a month" competition and I just couldn't hack it. I had so many ideas, but I just couldn't make it work with that sort of pressurized timetable.

Thank you! I'm fond of them too lol. And I had no idea a BA in English could be so useful :-)

Huh...sounds like a really interesting story. Is it just the sketch or are you actively working on the story? (I've always wanted to name my bar "The Rattlin' Bog")

Should I ever actually open my bar you'll definitely get an invite. And if you head out to L.A. I'd like to know how you manage (and if you get a TV show I want a minor character named after me ;-)

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

LOL If I get to Hollywood, you have a deal! I'm in NYC, and I spent this afternoon skulking around an Ugly Betty shoot. I don't know how I'd make it to L.A. But I figure I'll get there someday...

The story is just a sketch. Everything except the fanfic is going to be a sketch for now, I need to get my act together for grad school apps.

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

Woo-Hoo! \o/ I've never actually seen Ugly Betty, but lurking around any kind of shoot sounds like fun. If I were in NYC I'd probably be doing my best to stalk the cast of Law and Order when they do outside/city shots *facepalm* I have an unhealthy love of procedural cop shows...Dean would be so disappointed in me.

Pft, who needs grad school? (Kidding, one of my brothers is doing that right now, he's just about ready to start tearing his hair out.) I hope you'll be able to get back to writing your own stuff soon, and good luck with grad school! Do you know where you want to go?

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

LOL Ironic you should mention Law and Order. My high school was near the courthouse where they filmed and we were once late because they were wrapping up shots. Dean and I are kindred spirits about procedural cop shows.

NYC is kind of the end all, be all of my universe. I was born and raised here. And I haven't really gotten out of the city much in my life. Also, New Yorkers aren't that enamoured by film shoots, because when you have to catch your train or get to work before your boss wants to kill you or need to get to class and you have to stand there waiting for them to finish, it's not so fun.

All grad students want to tear their hair out, I heard it comes with the immeasurable poverty. But usually professors have crazy hair, so I'm guessing it grows back at some point? I'm only applying on a lark, if I don't get a PhD program, I'll just leave it. No big deal, I've got options.

P.S. I'm going to assist as a P.A. on a TV pilot being shot tonight. Another spur of the moment things with me. I hope you notice a pattern here?

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

Yeah I can see how constantly having your life interrupted so a scene can be shot would be a pain in the ass. But I'm happily oblivious in Virginia, so I can daydream about the wonder of the "big city" ;-)

LOL I've begun to notice, this is the second brother to go through the grad student process. Luckily the first one did it far away so I wasn't too bothered. The hair grows back, at least I think it does since brother #1 has a lovely head of hair that he doesn't have to cut because he's a mad scientist. Well I hope you get your program, if that's what you want, and if not, then I hope you get whatever you do want.

P.S. Holy crap! That's great! How did it go? (The only pattern I notice is one of awesome...and impulsiveness :-)

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

As a kid I used to wonder about what it would be like to live anywhere but NYC. Is it like they show on TV? I have to say, there has only been one show that remotely portrays teenage life in NYC, and that was the 90s show City Guys. Everything else just makes me go 'Have these people ever been to New York? Because they surely never went to high school there.'

I thought front lawns were an urban myth until I was 9 and made my first visit to the suburbs, and the first time I went to Florida I got freaked out by how much empty space there was.

P.S. The shoot was good. It wasn't bad weather for a November night.

Believe it or not, I had my entire life planned out when I was 16. Then real life actually happened and well, as you can guess, the plan didn't happen. To top it off, I graduated into the start of the recession and couldn't find a job (I just keep doing temp assignments). So I feel like taking all the opportunities I can to try new things.

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

Yeah I have yet to see a single show that accurately portrays living in a small town. And as for high school, just no. I think the closest was probably Buffy the Vampire Slayer...minus the vampires and demons. But the general feel of the show and how the students interact with each other and their teachers, that was really good. Although my school didn't separate into cliques as much.

O_o I can't imagine living without a big front and back yard. My brothers and I were able to play football games in our yard. Mowing it was of course a pain in the ass, but worth it for the space...we even have a nice vegetable garden and apple trees, just a few, not a whole orchard.

P.S. That's good. The weather's turned kinda crappy here, snow/rain mix.

I'm not too surprised that you knew what you wanted for so long. You strike me as a focused/determined sort of person (I mean that in a really good way). I had a rough sketch, but nothing firm. Although my folks had some definite ideas that I wasn't too excited about. I like your approach, trying whatever you can to experience new things and find what you want. Wish I did that more. I've been slowly trying to make my way through college but it's been rough. I had this kinda massive injury which kept me out of school for a long time and surgery's for additional fixings have complicated things. I'm doing community college since it's cheap and doesn't matter as much if I have to drop some courses. But it feels like it's taking forever.

[parallax23.livejournal.com]

I'm a pretty driven person - when I know what direction I'm going in, I'll throw myself in full-force to get something done. It's a bad thing when I don't. I went to the college I always wanted to go to, but I was in constant conflict with my parents over what I was studying. I also ended up biting off more than I could chew some days, but it's made me a stronger person and more aware of my strengths and weaknesses.

I hope you're recovering well. I remember waking up a few years ago, feeling old and thinking my life was over (I had only turned 20!), but in the last few months I've realized it's never too late if you want to do something. When college is over, time will fly by too quickly. Seriously, enjoy it while you can.